R.I.P, Michael

It's simple: There will never be another like you.
You are everywhere, you live in so many hearts, your music has touched so many people.
May you find perfect peace, finally.

A little inspiration - fat vs muscle

Sort of puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Eewwwww....

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays

As usual, I'm posting this a day late! Mondays are hectic for me and by the time I leave work at 7pm, I just wanna come home and crash!

Anyhew, so yesterday was the first session of the new Weight Watchers program at work. It seemed like a lot more people joined this time around. There were certainly more men. Last session, by the end, there was only one man standing and he had beat all the ladies out with a 38 lb weight loss. Freak! :-)

I didn't have a lot of expectations for this weigh-in, quite frankly. I hadn't been tracking, hadn't been doing much deliberate exercise, but I knew even my new size 18 jeans were feeling loose, so I went in optimistic. I lost a pound, which is great, considering the fact that not only wasn't I trying to lose weight, I wasn't trying NOT to gain weight either. Perhaps even when I think I'm eating crap, I'm not eating as much crap as I once did. Anyway, my net weight loss is still at 15.8 lbs. I really want to get down next week though. I'm tired of seeing 230lbs on the scale.

Confession Time: Today, I went off plan. I had taken my lunch to work - steamed veggies and two slices of meatloaf from a local co-op here called Sprouts. But a fellow WW partner didn't bring her lunch as we'd planned and I easily succumbed to the allure of going to grab some fried catfish, fries, and hushpuppies! Bad Lara, Bad Lara! I love catfish and can't resist it. Anyway, to make it worse, another coworker was going to Braums and I asked her to bring me back some frozen yogurt. I got a small cup of it and it was great but I so didn't need that.

Anyway, as was reiterated in the session yesterday, sometimes we have to indulge our cravings. I came home tonight and cooked and plan to stay on track tomorrow.
I am also going to have to stop allowing myself to be so easily swayed towards unhealthier fare.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Lara

Clutter, Clutter, everywhere, CLUTTER!!!

My name is Lara and I'm a clutterholic! Seriously, I wish there was rehab for people like me, who in spite of my constant efforts to eradicate clutter from my life, I always seem to be surrounded by it.

Before I went on vacation, I spent a couple of days trying to tidy up and simplify my space. I bought a couple of jars on sale from The Container Store and put a few random bags of rice, beans, and brown sugar in them. I sorted through my bathroom cabinets and took a hard look at the products I use and threw *some* out. I stacked a few of my "too big" clothes in addition to some of my "too small, but don't want to be seen in them anymore anyway" clothes in trash bags. I soon grew weary, decided I'd done enough, left everything as is, and concentrated on having a great vacation.

Now, here is where it always goes south. I always stop half-way through this process. Even when I have piles of things to go to Goodwill, I leave them for months where they are stacked and then pile other crap on top of that stuff. I've only been back four days from my trip and already, there is crap everywhere. It is almost as if I am not aware of when the clutter is happening, I only see the results. Things are left where I put them which is often not where they belong. Shoes are left in living rooms, coffee mugs on computer table, books on or around the bed, and I rarely ever eat on my dining room table because there is no space!

They do say knowing there is a problem is half the cure, right? I admire people who keep very neat and organized spaces. I strive to emulate that. I have read books and online articles on how to create a more zen-like space. I know I'm not alone...there are several shows that deal with this issue: Mission Organization, Clean House, Neat, etc. But knowing there is a problem, how do I solve it?

I have decided to address this as I did my weight-loss because quite frankly, I believe clutter also hinders my progress with my weight:

Cluttered Space ---> Cluttered Mind---> Cluttered Body.


My first step is to devise a plan. One that has worked when I've implemented it is the SPACE method which I learned from a book written by Julie Morgenstern called: Organizing from the Inside Out. SPACE stands for:
Sort. Put like items together, room by room. Don't stop to put them where you think they belong, just sort them for now.
Purge. Get rid of things that are broken, old, torn, or that no longer reflects the image you are currently trying to portray. Put them in a boxes that are labeled "Give Away" or "Trash"
Assign. Once you have sorted and purged, then you assign a permanent space to these items. Survey your living space and consider any restrictions you might have. My shoes need to go in my CLOSET on my SHOE RACK not on my living room floors, for instance.(Sorry, I'm yelling at myself)
Containerize. Have a dedicated spot to put your stuff away. Books in bookshelves, papers in file cabinets, etc. I try to find creative uses for regular household items. I saw on a show where this chick put her earrings in ice-cube trays and stuck them in a drawer. I stole the idea and it works perfectly.
Equalize. This is where I always tend to run into issues because it requires being present. It means spending time each day/week to return things to where they belong so that the clutter doesn't continue to breed like mold. I might need to have a daily timer go off or something to remind me to equalize.

So, that's my plan. I will let you know how it goes. I need to do this NOW, get it under control NOW, because I do not want to take these habits with me out of an apartment and into a house.

I am always eager to learn more tips and ideas for decluttering so if you do have any, please let me know!!!

Namaste!

Lara

I'm back!!!

OK, so technically, I've been back since late on Wednesday night from what was a lovely escape from Dallas. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip. San Francisco, driving up the West Coast through the Avenue of the Giants, visiting the National Redwood Park and hiking its trails, touring Seattle...all of that was just what I needed.

I haven't had what can be considered a real vacation in years. I didn't realize what I'd missed. Just being in and around nature, climbing up hills, and seeing the coastal landscape brought a sense of clarity, serenity, and overall well-being that I haven't experienced in a while.

One thing I found surprising was how well I was able to keep up with my more athletic friends; one of whom plays soccer and the other runs half-marathons. Typically, I'd be out of breath and struggling to keep up with just walking, even. But with just these few pounds off, I felt energized, ready to take on any challenge. The desire to sit was rarely a thought in my mind.

Conversely though, I still marvel sometimes at pictures I see of myself because I somehow expect to be much smaller than I am. It's a weird dynamic because I start to wonder: "Damn, how big WAS I?" I realize I still have so far to go and while I've started on a great path of progress, it's time to regroup, refocus, and continue to whittle down the fat. I can't imagine how much better, I'll feel when I reach my goal weight.

It's all working serendipitously in sync. My new WW session starts on Monday and I'm so excited because it feels like a fresh start. I have gotten off the plan for the past month or so and I feel completely ready to plunge back in.

So friends, how are YOUR plans coming? Have they started? What struggles are you facing? Do share!

Ciao!!

Lara

Happy Dance #2!!!

Alright, I'm blogging in my underwear, still haven't packed for my trip and have to leave the house in 1.5 hrs, but I couldn't NOT come on here and tell you that I just bought a pair of size 18 jeans from Old Navy and they fit PER.FECT.LY!!!!! Considering the fact, ya'll, that I once fit comfortably in a size 24, this is HUGE NEWS!!!

I'm soooo happy, I could cry!!!!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Lara!

Shopping While Fat.

Okay, this is going to be sort of a mini-rant. Why, oh why, do fashion "designers" out there make such ugly clothes for heavier people?! First, let me start off by saying I HATE shopping for clothes. It's always really demoralizing, even with my weight loss, because the really cute clothes stop at size 14 - 16, and even when you find a piece that *might* be cute, sometimes, they are so awkwardly tailored that you find yourself wondering if they used any real human beings as a prototype for the garment.

I have found that yes, you do get what you pay for. A lot of the time, more expensive clothing does feel and look better but I do not want to spend a lot on a wardrobe now because:
a) My recession hit way before the nation's did and I don't have a lot to spend on clothing.
b) Because a 5-10 lb loss sometimes leads to dramatic changes in the way my clothes fit, there is no point in spending tons of money on clothing right now.

However, when I do want to pick a piece or two to compliment my wardrobe or replace something that's now too big, I would like to have some inexpensive, nice designed clothes, dammit!

So I went into Kohl's tonight, looking for a few pieces for my vacation to the West Coast tomorrow, and found myself mumbling out loud like a mad woman as I surveyed the merchandise: "Why would anyone do that to themselves?" or "That is so completely fugly!" Piece by piece, I found myself shaking my head in disgust. Most of the garments had some sort of weird embroidery, sequin or floral. Forget about finding cute pants, jeans, or capris. They all look like something Sponge Bob Square Pants would wear! Why do they have to taper at the bottom?!

Anyway, I eventually gave up and left empty-handed. I can't blame it all on the store; I'm cheap and impatient which makes for a bad combo when shopping in a store like that. But I still think there is such a huge opportunity out there. Maybe these designers should watch a few episodes of "What not to wear" on TLC. They could learn about wrap dresses, wonderful prints, bold statements, accenting the waist, straight legged pants, fit, cut, ruching, breathable fabrics...need I go on?

I'll stop my rant here but I just had to get that off my chest. For a blog that deals primarily with the issues of weight and fashion, check out this blog by a London based blogger: Too Fat For Fashion

On a side note, I will be traveling to San Francisco tomorrow for a road trip up the coast to Seattle and will be back late on Wednesday. Wish me luck with my diet! I plan to make really good food choices and hopefully get some delectable seafood while I'm at it.

XOXO!!!

Lara.

Weigh-In Mondays: Redemption (sorta)

Isn't it just like a procrastinator to post about a Monday weigh-in on Tuesday? Sorry!!!

Well, the WW weigh-in yesterday wasn't as horrible as I anticipated. As you probably read, after eating everything I wanted last week, on Saturday morning, my home scale registered a 5lb gain. Because I couldn't bring myself to have that documented in my WW book, I decided to try to fix that over the weekend. So, I went for my kickboxing class, and for the most part, all weekend, ate my own food. I did still have chocolate and an oatmeal cookie. Yesterday morning, I also went for my run. I didn't have much for breakfast before the weigh-in. The scale registered at a 1.4 lb gain.

Strangely enough, I'm pleased with that because it could have been much worse. Yesterdays meeting was the end of our first WW at-work session. Fortunately, enough people are interested so we'll start our new session on June 22. My goal for this 17 week session is to:

1) Get back to actively and religiously tracking my meals
2) Incorporate weight training and perhaps join the combat kickboxing boot camp at my gym. I plan to go check it out tonight just to see what it looks like.
3) Steadily drop 1.5 - 2 lbs week-to-week. In the beginning of this last session, I was dropping on average 1.4lbs a week but I think I can step that up a bit.
4) Pack lunch at least 3 days a week. Eating out is my biggest downfall and lunch is that meal for me. I don't often eat dinner out.
5) Clean up my diet. I still eat too many fried foods and sweets and not enough vegetables. When I cook, I'm at my healthiest so the goal is to start cooking meals for the week on weekends and start planning better!

So here is to redemption and new beginnings!

Ciao!

Lara

It (probably) isn't your thyroid!

So, this may sound funny, bizarre, even sad, but last year, I was *almost* hoping I had a thyroid problem. You see, I was gaining on average about 2lbs a month and although I knew my diet was atrocious and exercise was non-existent in my life, I still couldn't quite grasp the fact that what I was suffering from was an acute case of "hand to mouth disease."

It didn't help my delusions that at a health fair hosted by my job, an acupuncturist hooked me up to a machine that would tell me which parts of my insides had blocked chi(energy). He pointed to my thyroid, kidneys and liver as problem spots and could also see in that miraculous machine that I had familial stressors. Nodding even though I couldn't really think of any at the time, I soaked it all up like a sponge. He said: "So, your recent weight gain is not your fault!" Ah! Finally! Someone who GETS it. It's not my fault I'm fat! After all, even Oprah gained weight due to a jacked up thyroid, right?

Anyhew, I took this new-found knowledge and promised to schedule a follow-up session with this wise prophet. But then, my b.s meter started going off pretty loudly in my mind. I decided that before I shelled out some money for herbs and needles, I should attempt to see what science had to say about my body. I hadn't had a physical in years and finally went in. I had the works done and after a bunch of drama(the damn doctor's office lost my blood and I had to go back a month later to get re-stuck), the results came back. The bored-sounding male nurse who called rattled off my results like he was reading off a menu: "Everything looks okay. Your kidneys are fine, your liver is fine, your good cholesterol is fine, your bad cholesterol is a bit high, so more fish oil in your diet. Your thyroid is FINE so no issues there." I don't know why but I heard in his tone: "So get off your ass and do something about your weight, it's not your thyroid!"

So here I was, confronted with two different schools of thought, one saying what I wanted to hear and the other, not really. I decided that while I'd always been curious about alternative medicine and have wanted to try acupuncture, I should try conventional methods of weight loss first. If after TRULY changing my diet and getting regular exercise, I didn't see clear and consistent results, then I would go unblock my chi.

A few pounds lost, I look back now and laugh at myself. I'm so grateful that there was nothing wrong with my thyroid. I can't imagine having to take medications to have to regulate my chemistry. Some people genuinely have thyroid problems and I'm sure it's nothing they would wish on anyone.

So friends, if you do have doubts, get a physical, rule out all possibilities that your weight is caused by anything other than over-consumption and under-activity, and if that isn't the case, suck it up and get on a plan!

Keep the faith!

Lara

P.S For more info on thyroid and weight gain see this article:
http://www.webmd.com/news/20080324/weight-gain-thyroid-gland-to-blame?src=RSS_PUBLIC

Mind over matter

Too often, when weight loss is discussed, the emphasis is on eating right and exerise. Very rarely is it ever addressed that to get to the point of making better food choices and having the motivation to exercise, the mind has to be worked on first. After so many years of battling with myself over my weight, I have come to the realization that weight loss starts from the mind. I once read a quote that went something like "Change only comes when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing." But how do we go from wanting to change to actually executing a plan to change.

Reasearchers have shown than people typically go through 5 stages when trying to make a behavioral change. The stages are:

1) PRE-CONTEMPLATION - You have no desire to exercise or eat right. You may not be happy with where you are with your health but you don't necessarily care enough to do anything about it.

2) CONTEMPLATION - You are not ready to exercise or eat right yet, but you are thinking about starting on a plan soon.

3) PREPARATION - My favorite! I'm a constant planner. I like to have everything in line before I take action. Unfortunately, for years, I have tried to come up with a perfectible plan, one without any room for error which has always led to failure. This stage is when you start devising your method of reaching your goals. This time for me, it was in choosing the workplace Weight Watcher's program and printing out my running guide. Make a plan but don't spend too long in this stage!

4) ACTION - You've taken the first steps, you are following your plan and making adjustments. I'm currently in the action phase but naturally, I still fall into the preparation stage. For instance, my emphasis with my exercise has been on running but lately, I've been contemplating weight lifting, preparing for it and have on occassion done a bit here and there at the gym but I'm not on an official weight lifting program yet.

5) MAINTENANCE - You are in your groove, you have replaced old habits with new healthier ones. Exercise is no longer a thought process, you feel weird if you don't do it, greasy foods make you sick, you crave fruit, etc.

I look forward to the maintenance phase but right now, I'm just trying to get to a point where I am fully immersed in my plan. My diet still needs a lot of work and I could be doing more exercise but at least I'm out of the pre-contemplation stage. A final thought: motivation comes with doing. Waiting to catch a fire to do anything about your health can take a long time and you don't want something negative like health issues to cause you to finally take your health seriously. Just just do it, now. Don't wait for Monday, or next month, or after 4th of July. Now!

XOXO
Lara

Paying Penance

Forgive me body, for I have sinned. You see, I had a birthday and decided to throw all caution to the wind and live it up! I ate, and I drank, and even though I made it to the gym on the morning of my birthday, I ruined that run with all the decadent desserts and fried calamari and sushi I consumed during the course of that day and thereafter.

I think I only counted points one day last week. As of today, I have worked out three times this past week. This morning, I jumped off the scale before it could really register that I was 5lbs heavier than my weigh-in on Monday in which I weighed in on the WW scale at work at 229.6 lbs.
Granted, I am retaining water (that time of the month) but I don't count that, I count all the grease, salt, liquor and every thing in between that I shoved in my mouth. I have regrets but I won't dwell on them because I had a good time. But it does go to show that exercise alone doesn't work for me. To lose weight and keep it off, I will ALWAYS need to be extremely mindful of what I eat. I don't know if I'll ever just be able to eat what I want, when I want.

So here goes, I'm trying to redeem myself this weekend so that my weigh-in on Monday does not lead me to tears. It's the end of our first WW session and we are trying to get another one going at work but not enough people have signed up yet. I hope it makes 'cause I'm still in so much need of help.

So here's to hopping back on the wagon. I'll always have fond memories of my birthday this year, but it's time to get back on plan.

Wish me luck!

Lara